Day Three of Pride Month:How a Friendship Started
This is how my best friend and one of the few people I have left to call family met me. She’s bi now and I’m proud of her every day
Hey welcome back PokePals!
Today is the third day of Pride month and I’m happy and proud to say that it’s Bisexual pride day! So today I’m gonna talk about my best friend Eri, who has honestly inspired me to be my best self every day. So I’m going to go over the entirety of our friendship and the parts that have helped me become the man that I am. And when she reads it, I want her to know that all of the things that I have accomplished and all the dreams I have, all of them came with her help, and if I could ever repay her, I’d do whatever I could.
Before we get to our story, you guys seriously need to go find her on Wattpad and she has some stuff up on Medium too! She’s currently writing an AMAZING book that is seriously uber FAB! Her wattpad link is HERE, and you can read her book Unfathomable. it’s honestly an amazing book and it gives me chills! Her medium account is Erica Badger, and she’s honestly the best author I’ve ever met, and I gotta say, I’ve met a few. But that’s a story for another time.
Ok ok, back to our story. But seriously go find her book!
Our friendship starts with one word: Slut. When I first met Erica, I was my LDS, straight, semi wholesome self. AKA, I was an asshole. So when I first saw Erica, I was friends with all the SBO’s and the cheerleaders. That isn’t really Erica’s style. If I had to describe Erica, I’m not too sure how I would describe her. She’s kinda punk rock/emo in all the best ways, with the hint of the typical bi sas and all the fabulousness. That being said, she really didn’t do all the SBO stuff and the cheerleaders? Please. Yeah no. So when I sat with the Cheerleaders, I heard all about Erica. In my school, you can’t be a cheerleader until 9th grade, and Erica was in 8th, but had the maturity of a junior. Erica’s always been way more mature than our peers. Smarter too. She really is a genius. Anyway, the cheerleaders had heard about her and her group. Her best friend, who I will call James because he hasn’t given me permission to use his real name, and because who doesn’t love Team Rocket from Pokemon? (not obsessed with pokemon at ALL) So James and Erica were best friends but at the time, James was Jessie because he hadn’t transitioned yet. (Yeah James is trans) So Erica was always around Jessie, and they caused a lot of trouble. Or so I heard. But be that as it was, I didn’t like Erica and Jessie, just because all I heard about them was that they were the punks you hear about on TV and in books. The kind of kids that smoke behind the school and sluff class.
Well, Erica lived in the neighborhood down the road for mine, and that meant we rode the bus together. Well one day this kid tripped me as I was getting on the bus, and I bumped several seats, but I bumped Erica. I don’t remember all that happened, but the basics were that she told me to watch where I was going. I was already pissed that day. So I said “Whatever slut” and she turned around so fast. “What the hell did you just call me?” I walked past, and she stood in her seat, turning to me. “No, really what the hell did you just call me?” I turned to her, and I said “I called you a slut. You’re just an asshole, alright? Leave me alone.”
Boy did she tear me a new one.
“I’m a slut huh? Well you follow all those cheerleaders and officers like they actually care about you, how many actually like you? None. No one does. Get your ass outta here with that shit. You’re a fucking bitch.”
And the glorious friendship began!
So the next year was my 8th grade year. I was so glad because the boundaries have changed for my school, and I’m now in a different school. However because Erica lived so close to me, we both moved to the new school together. We were still fighting. But then gym happened. Erica and I shared the same gym period, and because it was during the second semester, Erica and I have had a semester to take a break from each other. So when gym came up, both of us had changed a lot. One summer and one semester was long enough for at least some change, however even despite that, I didn’t like her. So how did we become friends?
A girl…
I was dating a girl at the time who I’m just gonna call Ponyta because she loved horses. So while dating Ponyta, I realized that she was actually friends with Erica and that Ponyta’s friend who I will call Garchomp because OMG was she a pain in the neck, was friends with Erica and Jessie. So since Erica and I were friends, I figured that I might as well be nice to keep on Ponyta’s good side. Then while getting to know her, I actually started to like her. A lot. In gym class we got to learn how to longboard and she taught me, and watched me wreck the board. I honestly suck at longboarding, but it’s fine. We don’t talk about it. Erica probably has her own Achilles heel, but if she does, I never found it because she dominates everything she does.
So we became friends, and my school had this homework/free time period where the whole school could either go to a classroom and do an activity, like one classroom would play bingo and another would watch a movie, but if you didn’t have good enough grades for that, you went to the cafeteria to “study” or you went to the class you were failing to “work”. So every time I could go to the cafeteria, I did. And I had no one to sit by, so I sat by Erica, Jessie, and Erica’s boyfriend who I will call Magikarp, because no one likes Magikarp. So we all hung out and goofed off.
As the year went on ,I got really close to all of them. Jessie taught me how to catcall on the ukulele, even though I didn’t play at the time. Erica by the end of the year had introduced me to a whole bunch of stuff that I hadn’t even thought about trying and we had our own adventure. They were there for when I broke up with Ponyta, and when I had a bad day at home, they never asked about it and we never talked about it, just read Erica’s poetry, listened to Jessie’s music, heard Magikarps stupid jokes, and it was a good time. They were even by my side when I came out. They didn’t care and they didn’t judge. Erica even offered to take me shopping once.
“We need to update your style, bro. Get you some cool stuff. You can have some of my old stuff that doesn’t fit me.” Erica said to me once.
Erica invited me to her house once, and that’s when I found out she used to be a drummer (as if she wasn’t badass enough already, right? Showoff! Love ya though) and that’s when I found out she loved Breaking Benjamin, Linkin Park, MCR, T(/)P and all the good ones. She helped me expand my love for music.
And it was our first year of our friendship that the first big story happened.
I was in a Special Education class because I don’t pay attention in class. Erica and Jessie never cared.
“Who cares?” Jessie would say. “It’s all bullshit anyway.”
But this special ed class had a rule that we had to get the signatures of all our teachers in this special planner book that they had given us. We got graded on how well we got those signatures, and I had lost my book. When the teacher asked, I said I didn’t have it. She asked what I meant and I said that I didn’t have it on me or on my person. I’ve always hated this teacher and have kinda considered her a Karen, so she wasn’t too happy that I talked back and it pissed her off. So she spoke to my manager.
No, like she actually called my stepmom.
My stepmom was super super abusive, and she didn’t ever miss a chance to humiliate me. This was the juiciest opportunity she’s ever had. But luckily I haven’t seen her in a year so thank god. And if by some chance she sees this, I just want her to know I’m happy now.
But anyway, my stepmom came into the school and took me into the hall. She dumped everything in my backpack on the floor and started yelling at me and asking where it was. I couldn’t find it in my backpack, so we went to my locker. In my school we have assigned locker buddies, and when my mother went through my locker, things got worse. My locker buddy had a pack of the 35 sticks of gum, and my mother took it out and shouted “Why do you have gum? Your dad and I have said not to have gum because you chew it like a cow!”
So that was how that went. She continued finding two library books when my family had said I was only allowed to have one. So she yelled at the librarian, my favorite teacher.
Then we went to the girls locker room. Because of my gym locker and all. My stepmom couldn’t find the book but she did find my gym clothes. The gym clothes were given to me by the school because I didn’t want to ask for gym clothes. My stepmother got pissed that I didn’t ask for gym clothes and “talked” to my gym teacher. The class was changing and so the whole locker room heard that conversation. So they heard when my stepmother said “these are boy clothes, she doesn’t need to dress like a butch just cus she’s lesbian”
Keep in mind just because I’d come out to my family that didn’t really mean I’d come out to the whole school. Up until now I guess.
So the teacher resolved things with my mom, and my mom left me at school to stew. The principal had to ask her to leave because she was “being to eccentric”. So she did.
I walked to the classroom and the teacher who had called my mom saw me and said “We create our own consequences.” and was about to start giving me a lecture, but I glared at her with tears starting to well. So she left me alone. Then the bell rang, and I walked through the halls. Lots of kids came up to me and asked if I was OK and all. I nodded and walked away. It was only later I went to the bathroom and cried.
Later that day, during that free period, we all were sitting down, and no one said anything to anyone but we all sat there and felt the tension. Magikarp tried to talk through it, but like I said before, no one likes a magikarp. Erica asked if I was Ok, and I nodded and said it happens a lot at home. Jessie broke the silence.
“You’re mom sounds fun” she said.
I laughed and the tension was broken. The rest of the time we had a good time.
That was the general idea of our friendship. We had each other’s backs and we didn’t talk about the crappy stuff if we didn’t want to. And that was how it was.
When it came end of year, I was sad. I was going to miss them when they all went to high school (Except Magikarp, I didn’t like him much) but it was how things went.
Erica signed my yearbook:
“You’re a chill dude. Don’t ever change.” — Erica
And Jessie singed:
“You’re pretty cool. H.A.G.S.” — the signature of Jessie
And then they were gone.
TW: Suicide Depression Self harm
Ninth grade year wasn’t my best year. My best friend was dating my ex, and they rubbed that in my face every day, and my relationship with my new girlfriend felt forced. Everything just seemed to be going wrong. Then my parents were always fighting. With me, with each other, with my brother. My parents wanted us to go to a Military academy next year, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. The next year I would be in the same High school as Erica and I kinda missed her so I wanted to go to school and see her again, but all my other friends were going too. Everything seemed to be going downhill, and I had my first attempt.
When I failed, my parents didn’t send me to the hospital, they just kinda swept it under the rug. And I did too. But then they found out I was self harming and that made them mad. All I could think of is what Erica would do. I look up to Erica a lot and I needed her help but I had no way of contacting her and therefore was all alone in this.
So I self harmed again.
After 9th grade I went to that military academy in 10th grade, and I began to think that I might never see Erica again, or any of my other friends. The military academy was intense, but most of the time I just thought about it the way Erica would. Thinking that if she saw everyone walking around in their ABU’s she’d call them stuck up or something. It made me feel better to not take the school seriously. I skipped sometimes. I had some fun. But then I started questioning my gender and not feeling very feminine. I never really talked about it to my friends because they didn’t like it. I really wished I had Erica because she’d never really care what I was so long as I was me.
“You’re a chill dude. Don’t ever change.” — Erica
So I tried to explain it to my friends. I told them I wanted to be a boy. Only one of them understood. The rest? They laughed. They joked. Some just stopped talking to me. Some beat me up. But it was ok because I was being me. I just hoped that wherever I saw Erica next she would be happy with the choice I made. That maybe she’d be proud. After all she’d done for me I hoped… But I thought it wouldn’t matter because there was no chance I’d ever see her again.
Then in January of my 10th grade year, the unbearable happened. I had an amazing friend who I loved so much. He got sick and died. Some say that it was the flu, but it was just as COVID kicked off, so some think it could be that. I don’t know. But he died. I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to be strong, like Erica. I just wanted to figure out what to do. She was really strong. She always had an answer for everything. But she wasn’t here. So now what? I had no one to turn to. Except for this boy I loved. We dated for a few months, and I loved him a lot, but he got me into trouble. I got kicked out of school because of him. I was at an all time low and didn’t know what to do. I got sent to a mental hospital because I was a HIGH suicide risk. I stayed there for three months. In April I came out as Transgender. My parents said I did it for attention. They said it was stupid. One night I was so sick of my parents, and I missed my friend that died, and I just thought that the only thing that would help was death. So I ran and tried, but the staff of the rehab center caught me. So they threw me in the timeout room. As I sat there I thought about everyone I cared about and how much they’d hate me when they found out what happened. I thought about all my friends that I had and how they probably don’t care about me anymore, and I thought about Erica, and when she signed my yearbook
“You’re a chill dude. Don’t ever change.” — Erica
I started crying.
I’ve changed so much… Even if I ever saw her again, would she recognize me? She didn’t want me to change… And I did. Would she be proud of me? Would she hate me? What would I do if I ever saw her again? If she saw me here she’d probably think me pathetic. Would she care if I was trans?
I looked up at the sky, and whispered a kind of message to her. I spoke in my head as if she were there.
I’m so sorry Erica. I broke my promise. My one promise. I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing I could do about it now. Don’t hate me.
The years passed and my stepmother divorced my dad, my brother was living with his godparents, and everything was different. My dad had decided I could go to the highschool I was supposed to go to last year. I was excited because I would go to school with my friends, but I gave up any hope on finding Erica again. What if she moved? She probably didn’t want to see me anyway.
As school started up, I found all my old friends and I got to know them again. What a year can do to people. I was catching up with them and it was fun.
One month in school, and I never found Erica.
Then the second month passed and I stopped. I figured I would’ve found her by now if she went to this school.
Then in the middle of the third month of school I was walking from History class, and I saw her pass me in the hall. I stopped and turned around. It was her all right. Backwards flat billed baseball cap with the Linkin Park logo, big baggy hoodie, etc.
At the time our school had Google Hangouts and everyone at school had their own chromebook and therefore, their own email. The email was made of their last and first name, so I just looked her up and texted her.
Hey, I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m (Insert Dead Name) and I used to hang out with you at our old high school… I just wanted to catch up again and see if you remembered me.
And she messaged back
Oh, hey man.
Erica wasn’t one for talking much. She writes instead.
So we got our friendship back again. We weren’t close but we were still us, in the ways that mattered. I told her I was trans and she said
“Oh yeah, cool. Jessie’s trans too.”
I couldn’t believe it. I asked what his name was. She said James. So Jessie was James now, and that was the first trans man I met outside of rehab that was my same age and who didn’t suck. But James and I didn’t really get along. I’d said something stupid the last time we talked.
Erica and I kept being friends, and we knew each other was there if needed, but like I said, we weren’t close anymore. Then one day I completely blindsided Erica with a question I’ve wanted to ask her for a while.
“What do you consider to be abuse?” I said.
She looked at me with a sideways glance, but then calmly said “I don’t know, what’s the situation?”
So I told her all that was happening at home. All that I was going through. When I was done, Erica stood there, and looked at me, and said
“yeah, no man that is totally 100% abuse and you need to tell someone.”
“I told you” I countered. She shook her head.
“There’s not much I can do. You need to tell someone that can actually do something.” She said
“I’m scared,” I replied.
“Yeah it’s gonna be scary, but you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Tell someone.” She said.
We got closer after that. I told her whenever something was wrong and we worked through it together. She never turned me away, but sometimes I wondered if I was getting too much for her. She gave me her number once and I memorized it for just in case. I had a landline at my house but no cell phone, so contacting her was near to impossible. We agreed I’d only call her in a real emergency. So we went on hanging out and talking. I switched one of my classes to be in the same class as her so we’d have the same lunch, AND same class. It was cool, and I loved the class. It was college level AP Art history, but luckily for me, I was just the TA. Erica actually TOOK the class, because like I said, she’s a bonafide genius. So life was good.
TW: Gore violence and war talk.
Then spring break came, and I called her.
“Hello?” She said, confused.
“Hey, it’s Tom, I uh…” I swallowed the tears first. “I need to talk to you. It’s my dad. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. he’s watching these videos and… Are you busy?”
“Yeah I’m at work. I’ll be off in a few.” She said concerned
“Ok I’ll talk to you in a bit then. Bye” And I hung up before she could respond.
Twenty minuets later I called back.
“Are you still busy?” I asked frantically. I couldn’t stand one more minuet out there. I prayed she was done.
“No I’m good, what’s going on?” She asked.
“He’s showing me these videos from overseas. A man got blown up and one minuet he was there and then there was an explosion and all I see is his leg bloody and charred with bits of fabric from his uniform… They shot a pregnant woman… I can’t do this I can’t go back out there. He keeps showing me war music videos. One was of a guy who wanted to die and I’m scared he’s going to kill himself. Please help me I don’t know what to do…. Please….”
“It’s ok, you’re Ok. I’m here I promise. Everything’s gonna be ok. Are you safe?” She tried to calm me down
“He’s drunk but I’m… I’m safe… He… Erica I don’t want him to be like this. I don’t know what he’s gonna do.He showed me this video about a girl who lost her daddy in 9/11. I don’t say it enough but I love him, and I’m so scared. I’m not manly. I’m so mad. If I were a REAL man I would be there fighting with those soldiers… I could save them. They’re DYING Erica….” I began to hyperventilate
“You don’t have to do anything, Tom. You are manly. You’ll be ok. It’s ok that you’re not over there. He shouldn’t have shown you those videos. That is emotionally abusive. You. Are. Ok. I promise.”
And I ended up being Ok. Then a few months later, I had more family issues. My dad had always been strict on my name and pronouns. He didn’t want anyone calling me Tom or He/Him or any of it. He considered it pushing my lifestyle onto his and forcing him to accept something he didn’t want to yet. So he said that he didn’t want me talking to anyone who used my name or my pronouns. When I told Erica, she tried to help me get out, but I wasn’t sure what to do.
Then there was another incident. I stole a phone from someone, but I hadn’t intended that to happen. I had panicked. It was a long story that I won’t add. But when I told my dad, I was scared because I knew he’d have a hand or two to throw at me. When I showed my friends the emails we exchanged, one of them told me I wouldn’t be going home. I’d instead be going home with them.
So I did.
I told Erica I was leaving but i didn’t go into too much detail. When I talked to her next, she started asking me questions and was really worried. I was so confused. I had told her that I was leaving but apparently all the details I had left out were all the important ones, so she had no idea where I went or what had happened. But we figured it out.
Erica and I hung out a bit after that. Never around James much because he was still pretty uncomfortable around me which was understandable. Erica and I sat in her car sometimes and talked. She had a wicked 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse that is so sexy. I brag about it to my friends (But don’t say anything because she doesn’t know I do that).
Then one day she wanted to hang out with me and I was down, but James joined in last minuet. I asked if they still wanted to hang and James said all was cool. Erica said it was good. So we took our lunch and sat by Erica’s (Sexy) car and as we ate our food, some of our friends showed up. One of them I knew but wasn’t sure Erica and James did, and that was my boy Beetle. Then the other we all knew and that was Joker. So we hung with them until Beetle went to class. Joker and Beetle told us of this school that was in this weird location and all that. After Beetle left, Joker asked if we wanted to see it, and so we did. We stayed and hung around for a bit, ditching class because it was so close to the end of the school year that no one cared and Joker, James, and Erica were all seniors so they were graduating in a few days. That was how I managed to hijack a Senior Sluff Day. The only way the day could’ve been better is if we took Erica’s sexy car, but we took Joker’s instead. I have never gotten a ride in that car, but it’s on my bucket list. I refuse to die until I get a ride in THAT car. Not just any Mitsubishi Eclipse, THAT one. It’s got a nice ass.
I know this doesn’t have much to do with Pride except that Erica’s bi and today is bi pride day, but the one message I hope someone extracted was: Friendship. This is the short story of our friendship but as you can tell, none of this would’ve been possible without Erica and James. They are my inspirations and my heroes. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them and I hope they know it. So my PokePals, I relate this to pride by saying that so long as you have at least one good friend that you can depend on for the best and the worst, Keep holding on to them.
I’m moving my blog to a Wix website because I can’t read anyone’s blog from Medium, so please let me know if you guys have blogs that you want me to read. Remember to find all of Erica’s works on Wattpad HERE and follow her here on Medium, Erica Badger.
Special thanks to Erica for being my best friend and my hero. You’re like the big sister I’ve always wanted but never had. Until now. Have fun with your life, and I can’t wait till I meet you as Dr.Badger. Thank you for teaching me to never be afraid to show my true colors.
Love you all and have a fun Pride month! BI PRIDE!!!
